Coming back

Sept 29, 2018

The last phase of summer. A time when it cools down in the evenings and you appreciate every moment spent outdoors and in the sun. Many of us will feel a growing sense of what is to come, and a need to get ready for it. Whether you are going back to school or preparing for a cold New England winter, there is a sense of getting back to the norm.

I have felt this anticipation as I prepare for my next year of grad school. Thinking of what awaits me over the next few months reminds me that I have been neglecting my yoga practice, my blog, and my well being. I avoid as many commitments as possible in the summer because I know that I need this time to relax and recharge. This has never been more true than now, after the chaos of the last two years. 

Yoga is a deeply personal practice that allows a deeper understanding of the self. In my experience, sometimes turning inward forces us to face a part of ourselves that we were not expecting. We may not like this part of ourselves, or may not be ready to work through the emotional experience of a loss or a major life change. This fear of not liking ourselves or that we wont be able to handle the emotions that we are experiencing can lead us to ignore our reflective practice and avoid the hard work. But it will still be there, even if it is locked away beneath layers of distraction. Given time and avoidance, simple fears can become demons that follow us relentlessly through life. It is intense and frightening to look inside yourself and work through what is causing you pain. I believe this is why I have avoided my yoga practice over the last few months. I have stretched, I have breathed, and I have practiced gratitude, but I have not sat down and worked through what is causing me pain. Perhaps it is the unexpected redirections along the flow of our lives that I am fighting against, or perhaps I am fighting to hang on after loss. Whatever the cause, it is time to come back.

I am happy to return to my previous time slot on Thursday evenings at Balance Yoga in Richmond, VT. My year of subbing was much needed as I adjusted to some big changes in my life, but now I am ready to return to the role of yoga teacher.

Whether you have remained a dedicated practitioner or if, like me, you needed to take some time away from your mat, I hope that you find your way back to your practice. Yoga will welcome you back whenever you are ready.

I hope that with time, love, and support, each of us will be able to sit with our fear rather than using unhealthy habits to avoid them.

Namaste.